1) Tell your partner you appreciate him and all he does daily. Familiarity tends to lend itself to taking loved ones for granted. Don't assume your spouse knows you appreciate his help. Tell him.
2) Daily talk about an interest other than your children, work, or pets. Maybe a story you heard on the news and what it made you think about. How things are going on a hobby etc...
3) Stay attractive...stay healthy and fit for you and your partner. Exercise, style your hair, groom your nails. Your partner may say he doesn't care about how you look...but it does matter. When you are down on yourself you do not give off a vibe of attractiveness or confidence.
4) Stay interesting...read, take classes, make new friends... keep growing as a person. Being too predictable gets dull.
5) Try something new together. There is no better way to spark excitement as a novel experience. Try a sport together. We just started cross-country skiing. Take a Tango class... now that is sexy. Whatever your interests are...seize the day!
6) How you start an argument is how you'll likely finish it... so watch your tone when you need to criticize. Avoid name calling and saying, "You always do this..." Remember your goal is to solve a problem; not emotionally hurt your partner.
7) Don't put all your emotional weight on your partner. Keep in touch with friends and family. I think it unrealistic to expect your spouse to fulfill all of your social and emotional needs.
8) Stay respectful and courteous to your partner. I've met couples who have been together a long time and sometimes they aren't very nice to each other. They have gotten sloppy about how they address each other... because they are so familiar with each other. Watch what you say to your partner, especially in front of other people. Some topics are too personal for company, stay kind and conscientious.
9) Touch as often as possible. Hug, smooch, hold hands... many, many studies have been done that say touch reduces stress and binds couples together.
10) Have sex often. Even if you are tired and have a headache... or whatever your excuse. It doesn't have to be fireworks all the time. Lower your expectations, relax and connect with your partner. With the busy lives we lead it is easy to lose this bond with our loved one that can become a serious rift in a relationships if avoiding sex becomes a habit.
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Even when we know these things, we are not always attentive to them. Relationships are a constant challenge.
ReplyDeleteSo true... so true. That is why we can keep reading posts like this over and over again. We always can use reminders.
DeleteWonderful post Diane
ReplyDeleteI think relationship with your spouse is like a plant - you always have to take care of it :)
Absolutely, water and weed!
DeleteFabulous tips, and so true! Starting today I'm doing the Love Dare, just to be a better wife and change things up a bit.
ReplyDeleteOK, Adelina what is the Love Dare? Details please.
DeleteThese really are wonderful reminders, Diane, and great advice for newlyweds as well. I totally agree with all of your suggestions :) This is an excellent post!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much April.... you are right very good advice if you are being a relationship to start out on the right foot. It took me 17 years of marriage to figure out most of these.
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